


Hatsjoe

by Zenece



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 06:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenece/pseuds/Zenece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hatsjoe, or however the hell people sneeze in English.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hatsjoe

“Hatsjoe!” 

Kathryn cast a worried look at her lover. “Doctor, what is wrong with her?” 

The doctor shook his head, unable to come up with an answer. “I... I don’t know! My scans show that she’s as healthy as can be!”

“Hatsjoe!” B’Elanna grabbed the umpteenth tissue from the box on her lap. “Well, obviously SOMETHING is wrong!” She sneered and then sneezed again. “Please make it stop!” 

“I’ve already tried giving you all the known medication. None of it seems to work, Lieutenant!” The doctor was at a loss and he was not a happy camper. 

Kathryn began to grow impatient. “There’s nothing you can do for her?” 

The doctor scratched his head. “Not until I know what’s causing it.” 

“Hatsjoe!” B’Elanna groaned.

“I don’t understand.” Kathryn reasoned as she went to the replicator to replicate another box of tissues for B’Elanna. “She was fine on the planet. She only started sneezing a little while after we’d transported back to Voyager. Are you sure it’s not an allergy of some kind? Or a very sudden cold?” 

Scanning B’Elanna again, the doctor confirmed his earlier statement. The tricorder showed nothing wrong with his patient. Yet she was sneezing like a... Well, something that sneezed a LOT.   
He made an apologetic face. “I recommend another box of tissues for the moment. I’ll analyze your scan results some more. Hopefully I’ll find something that can explain... this.” 

Kathryn helped B’Elanna get up. “Come on sweetheart. We’ll get you comfortable on the couch at home.” 

B’Elanna looked at her with thankful eyes, then promptly sneezed again. “Kill me.”

~

On her way to a Jeffries Tube, Seven of Nine slowed down, stopped and then backtracked. She lifted a metallic eyebrow and cocked her head. There it was again. A strange piercing sound followed by a violent sneeze. 

The ex-Borg drone looked around and discovered she was standing in front of the quarters that the Captain and B’Elanna shared. It seemed that the strange sounds and the sneezes were coming from there. 

Seven hesitated. She had often noticed how the crew valued their privacy and how strange noises were not a good reason to storm into a room unannounced. She blushed vaguely as she remembered an incident with Tuvok and Neelix. Next time she heard something that sounded like a wolf howling in pain, she’d leave it well enough alone!

And she was about to leave this alone as well, but just as she moved away, there it was again, followed by a sneeze. There was something strange about the sound. Her Borg enhanced hearing could barely pick it up. 

Deciding that this could be important, she pressed the doorbell, requesting entrance. 

“Come in!” The Captain responded, followed by another sneeze of her lover.

The doors opened, revealing a very frustrated Klingon and a quite desperate Captain. 

“Yes Seven?” Kathryn inquired edgily.

Seven eyed the tissues that were lying all over the place and frowned. She wanted to ask what it was all about, but was unsure if she wanted to hear the answer. After all, these human tendencies were sometimes alarmingly frightening. 

Kathryn saw her look around and clarified. “B’Elanna can’t stop sneezing and the doctor can’t find anything wrong with her. Now, what can I help you with?”

The shrill sound Seven heard in the corridor suddenly started again and ended promptly with another sneeze from B’Elanna.   
Seven looked around the room and then turned to the half-Klingon.  
“I heard a strange high-pitched sound come from this room as I was walking past your quarters. It seems to occur right before you sneeze.” 

Both Kathryn and B’Elanna stared at the other woman in scrutiny. 

Kathryn started shaking her head. “I’m not hearing any strange high...” 

She was stopped as Seven lifted her hand, indicating that it was there again. 

“Hatsjoe!”

Seven cocked her head. “You didn’t hear that?” 

“No.” B’Elanna growled and Kathryn just raised an eyebrow. 

“Each time it starts 2.38 seconds before Lieutenant Torres sneezes.” 

From the toolkit she had with her, Seven took a tricorder and began scanning the half-Klingon. 

Kathryn sighed. “You won’t find anything wrong with her. The doctor already examined her.” 

Seven tapped her tricorder. “I believe that the sound my Borg implants are picking up is a little out of phase. If I can adjust the tricorder to compensate we might be able to ascertain its origin.” 

Under the watchful eyes of the two ladies, Seven continued her scans.   
After a few minutes and a few more sneezes the tricorder beeped in her hands. 

“Hatsjoe!”

Seven looked up. “Captain, I believe I have found something. The sound seems to be emanating from a life form that has attached itself to the nose of Lieutenant Torres.”

“Oh great.” B’Elanna muttered. 

“Why didn’t the doctor pick this up?” Kathryn questioned. 

Seven dutifully answered the question. “The life form too is out of phase Captain. But I believe I can make it visible by modifying a phaser.”

Kathryn handed her a phaser and Seven proceeded to rig it, then aimed at B’Elanna’s nose. 

“Hatsjoe! Hey! Careful where you point that thing!” 

“Do not be worried Lieutenant. I will not harm you.” Seven fired the phaser and sure enough, a little feathery creature became visible. 

It started making noise again and at the same time shook its feathers, causing B’Elanna to sneeze violently again. After that it went quiet for a while, seemingly scared. 

Kathryn watched in amazement as the process repeated itself. “Seems like we know what’s wrong with you. It must have been accidentally transported with you from the planet.” 

“Hatsjoe!” B’Elanna growled. “I don’t care! Just get it OFF me!”

~

With a little fancy handiwork, the little creature had been beamed back to its original habitat. It had seemed to be that the shaking of its feathers had been the only way it could communicate with the out of phase starship and its people. 

But all’s well that ends well, and our two ladies lay cuddled up together on the sofa, enjoying each other’s company.

Until...

“Hatsjoe!” 

B’Elanna sat up and looked at her lover disbelievingly. “Oh, not you too!” 

 

 

THE END


End file.
